Davide Lufrano Chaves 4/04/1983 – 26/12/2013

moving to another country

4 luglio 2013 alle ore 10.39

I think moving to another country for the wrong reasons is even worst than staying where you are until your mind is clear and your decision is made on a substantial point of view.
When you arrive to a place you’ve never been, everything is new, it smells different, your language and the faces you communicate are going to be completely a surprise. But after a while you coming back to a routine that is part of the human life, like waking up in the morning and go to bed at some point.. that’s just nature, and nobody goes against that unless he wants to live for a short time. So when you’re going to be again in a state of being bored, you can choose to blame everything you find around you, finding holes in this new society that was giving you welcome few months before, dreaming and talking all the time about places you’ve been like a tourist for few days or weeks.
Or you can just choose to explore eventually your self and stop throwing others your issues.. your life can be a run from a place to another, from a wrong relationship with your partner, family etc without stopping a minute to ask ‘Am I tired of this’? Choose well what you want from this only life you’ve got, choose well your friendship (fundamental), your place where to activate the input in a constructive way, conscious that anywhere you go is not going to be easy unless you take it in a good positive way.
Don’t believe in any paradise around the world, it just doesn’t exist: where there are humans, there are going to be bad influences as well. But you can turning that into a lesson to learn or just be away from them – simple.
Somebody told me last week that blaming others or external situations for your mistakes and frustrations is the first useless defense of a basic human, it’s probably a reaction so old that came out with fear or love and other basic emotions since the beginning of brain functions.
In a way, that’s why I started recently to appreciate people that are actually DOING things. I start to be away from too much speeches, politics (especially in Italy).. you outline a first grade of the problem in silence, you ask opinions, then take your way and let the sun shine on your choice: whatever is going to be the result, if you have done your best, no matter anybody telling you the opposite, you are built on strong beliefs and your choice is just your choice, for the best of you and the people you love.
I can’t move to Iceland just because I’m in love with Sigur Ros or Bjork, I need to think of the all picture where I’m going to be.. or I can’t just follow my partner blindly unless there’s a project behind and I find my path into it.
I’ve seen in 4 years in London so many people arriving with the best teen age excitement but for the wrong reasons and coming back with a broken dream after few months and blaming and inventing problems that maybe were always there in that new country. Nobody is going to help you if you don’t help your self first.

Stop complaining, it’s tiring for you and for the miserable people that have to listen you, and doesn’t lead the situation anywhere. The best is to resume the condition you are with clear mind to somebody you trust, even just to listen your self talking about something that was only inside you before and see the point you are on a rational side, just enough to move on. And always start and conclude with a smile: 1st –  the friends are giving you their time, it’s your duty use it in a honest way, don’t take anything for granted or you’ll be alone at some point in your life. 2nd – don’t take your self too serious, a smile or a laugh in a good company let emotions go out in a natural way that you can just forget the worst in your life and remember that you’re still lucky to talk with somebody, you still have a story to tell and somewhere to dream of, again and again.

Life is great if you only make your part to make it great.

davide

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